Apparently every American 6 and older will tune in tonight to watch Simon Cowell of "American Idol" tell another earnest, would- be star, "You remind me of a wasp . . . a little buggy energetic thing . . . you'd make a good rat."

That's what Cowell told a stunned, hapless Kevin Brenneman, 21, a tiny guy with big ant-glasses and pocket-protector style who just stood there, humiliated, before 34.5 million viewers, like his family had been shot.