Dear Annie: My husband, "Don," and I have been married for more than 35 years and have five grown children. Don is a difficult person. When he is around, we all walk on eggshells. To protect the children, I have always been the peacemaker. Things have eased up since the children moved out, but Don has no friends and has become a recluse.

My problem now is that we live like roommates. There is very little emotional engagement, and I am thinking seriously of ending the marriage. I've tried to get him to counseling, but he refuses. He blames me for the problems in our marriage. Don never accepts responsibility for the pain and suffering he has caused. He's accused me of affairs with other men and even women. He is jealous that I make friends easily and doesn't like it when I have anyone over. He chastises people who call the house to talk to me, saying they are disrespectful because they do not acknowledge him. But when they do, his response to them is cool and aloof.